running slumps and turbo beast mode playlists
Okay, actually, I want to start this piece by describing my literal current position (picture below to prove it): It’s 1:57 pm, and I am experiencing a heavy, thick bout of afternoon malaise. It happens to me nearly every day. It hits me hard. TikTok has convinced me it has something to do with my gut health. This is why, for the most part, I try and get my runs/workouts in the morning. Best would be first thing in the morning. But if I don’t get movement in before 11 am, I find that my day quickly deteriorates. And some days, it’s really, really hard to pull myself out of it. I’m only sharing this because I’m sure I am not alone in this experience.
Today that precious pre-11 am window came and went. I have been pretty much sitting in the same spot (on my couch, where I like to work and write—I’m not a desk girly) all day. I feel simultaneously lethargic and restless. I know—I know—a little jog will undeniably make me feel better. But getting myself to stand up, put a sports bra on, slather some anti-chafe on my inner thighs, and get out the door feels like it will require a monumental spurt of energy, which I do not have. HOWEVER, what I know to be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is that I will feel better—rejuvenated, refreshed, vastly more confident, happier—if I simply go on a three mile run that will take thirty minutes max and will be utterly transformative. So, as much as I don’t want to, that’s what I am going to do. I will return to this post with an update and let you guys know the results.
[GOES ON RUN - PICTURED BELOW]
DONE BABY! I’M A NEW LITTLE LADY. In classic fashion, I feel significantly better. I ended up going five miles instead of three, which is one of my favorite parts about running—how you can enter a workout underestimating yourself and then prove yourself wrong simply because the endorphins start endorphining. Happy I did it. In high school I had a teammate (now a studly Olympic rower—shout out Cicely) who used to say, “you never regret a workout.” And it is absolutely true. Have you ever finished a run or even a walk and thought to yourself, “god, I wish I hadn’t done that”? For me, personally, that has never, ever happened.
Unfortunately what occurred today—I let the morning get away from me and then didn’t feel like running—has been a theme of my autumn this year. I posted a TikTok about it. This has been a bummer for two reasons: 1. In the northeast, the fall is the most beautiful and gentle time of year to be running. You don’t have to worry about it being too hot or too cold. The sky is unusually and consistently blue. The humidity has dissipated. The foliage is vibrant. But I have found myself waking up every day dreading working out.
I had a lot of changes in my life recently—I left Rhode Island, went to Europe (fell in love with trail running and Chamonix), moved to Brooklyn, left Brooklyn, came back to RI—and I think all that shifting and changing perhaps exhausted me on a deep level. I don’t know. I haven’t been able to be consistent, and I feel that I have lost fitness. I’m also running the NYC marathon literally next week (a gift and a privilege) and had this big goal to run a sub 8 min average mile. That certainly isn’t going to happen anymore. I’m down on myself for that because there was a moment in early September when it felt maybe possible. But unexpected things happen in life, of course. What’s the quote? “We plan, God laughs.” I’m agnostic (not to be confused with an atheist—when I see all the beauty I have seen in nature—how can I deny the existence of some magnificent entity who created it all). Whatever god I loosely believe in is certainly laughing at me now.
Meet yourself where you are.
That is what I have been telling myself over and over again, and it’s a mantra that gets me out the door. It certainly got me out the door today. This is not my first time in a little athletic slump, and I know all I can do is be kind to myself and my body and show up to physical movement as I am. To move is a gift. I am meeting myself where I am.
And, on days of low motivation, it always helps to have a turbo beast mode playlist to get the adrenaline pumping. I’ve included it below for anyone else in need.
Lots of love,
Lydia
